Defiance
180 x 140 cm · Available
Defiance is a self-portrait that looks at a more recent chapter in the story, after the end of a thirty-year partnership and a period of burnout from excessive work. The figure stands alone on a field of green, the body carrying both the weight of heartbreak and the work of looking inward, unpicking how he has been living and what might need to change. The gesture of the arm and the angle of the torso mark a pivot point: a quiet but decisive move away from being defined by loss, towards rebuilding a life that feels true to who he is now.
The aim was to picture this shift without resorting to spectacle. The pose is contained rather than dramatic, but the set of the shoulders, the line of the spine and the directness of the gaze all signal a new refusal to disappear. The placement of the subject’s right foot, caught at the moment just before it settles on the ground, underlines the sense of moving towards a more certain footing in what comes next. The sweep of green grass underfoot provides a sense of grounding, a visualisation of the steadier wisdom that has come through reflection and survival. Around the figure, fields of colour and open space hold the tension between vulnerability and resolve, suggesting someone who has been through rupture and is choosing, carefully, to step forward.
At this stage, sexuality itself is not the site of conflict; the culture has moved, and so has he. The defiance here is not against the fact of being gay, but against the temptation to give up on connection, intimacy and a fully lived life after profound exhaustion and loss. The painting insists on the right to be an authentic, feeling person in the present, to begin learning how to love himself again, and to imagine the possibility of future love without erasing what has gone before.